Your family, your tribe, your self, no one is responsible for the standards you set in your life other than yourself. You write the law for your family. You write the code. You set the tone.
One thing I have learned is that many children crave structure. They want to know that dinner will be ready just as much as they know their parents love them. When it comes to a universal moral code in parenting, there is none. There is no playbook, and no instruction manual.
When it comes to your legacy, your story, it’s just you, right now, writing on the page.
As a defiant teen many times I bucked back against the standards that were set in my household. I knew exactly what was expected of me and what would and would not be excepted, yet I still rebelled. That’s par for course and healthy child development. I try and remember that now as a parent and do my best to not take it personally.
What hindsight taught me is that now as an adult those values and morals that were taught to me are the standards I also set for my own household. Honesty, justice, dedication, and taking the high road are all values taught to me since I was young that I have been able to bring into my adult life. I didn’t see it then, but I am thankful for them now.
The important thing is that children need boundaries, they need standards to be set. It’s up to you and your partner to define those standards, those boundaries, those morals. No outside influence should dictate what values you choose to teach your child. It’s your legacy.
This proverb sums it up pretty well. “Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Set your code for your family, lead by example and by doing so you can rest your head easy at night, knowing you and your family stand for something.