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“Top 10 Glenn Danzig songs to make babies to”

The sultry singer Glenn Danzig is probably responsible for more babies in the punk rock community than any of us would like to admit. Arguably one of the most important characters in punk rock and heavy metal, rarely does he get the shine he deserves as being the alpha-male of seduction with his bare (bear) chested crooning causing many of us to dim the lights, and set the mood for, well…making more babies.

1. Danzig – Sistinas
This Danzig ballad puts singers like Morrissey to shame and quickly drops the panties of either sex. With lines like “take my hand, you’ll never find another quite like mine…” Crank it up as you make your way into the bedroom and watch your normally reserved self transform into a powerful alpha-beast capable of touching so much more than your lovers heartstrings.

2. Danzig – She Rides
Summon your inner shirtless, hairy chested sex-god status with this sultry tune. “She slides, Down inside your skin, In time, She will make you scream.” Proof positive how giving of a lover Danzig must be, and how much we all can learn from this graceful creature of the night.

3. The Misfits – Devil’s Whorehouse
When Danzig sins, he sins real good. Not all baby making has to be vanilla, and Danzig proves that not only is he the solid rock with a heart of gold, but he is also a freak in the sheets. Dress up in your naughtiest of evening gothic wear and take a trip to the devil’s whorehouse for the night.

4. Danzig – Blood and Tears
This appears to be a tale of lost love, but no tears coming from the supernatural sex beast Danzig! It’s your loss, and you lost Danzig, cry away! He is aware of your hurt and pain, but you should have appreciated Danzig when you had him. This is really more of an “after making babies” song, so hold your lover tightly and appreciate your last 9 months without a crying baby. “Yea, you cry a thousand tears, Darling don’t despair I know your heart still bleeds.”

5. The Misfits – Hybrid Moments
Leave it to Danzig to appreciate his lover at their lowest point. As Glenny croons “Ooh baby when you cry, your face is momentary , you hide your looks behind these scars” he is really opening up and letting you know he appreciates you flaws and all. Not only does he sympathize with your pain, but he literally lives and breathes it. This song is nothing more than a coy way to encourage you to relate to you lover and cherish them for better or for worse.

6. Danzig – Soul on Fire
“Come wrap my love in your house of ice, Melt you down more than once or twice, Make you shake till worlds align, See your body tremble with the blood on fire.” Danzig is so much more than an idol that sacrifices his tender soul through song for your enjoyment, he is an icon willing to help you channel a being that is just as sensitive as he is strong. A relationship is filled with the bitter and the sweet and Danzig realizes this. Dance the dance of love and let your lover set your soul ablaze.

7. Danzig – Hint of Her Blood
Danzig is not immune to heartbreak. Ok, that’s not true, he is. But he is such an imaginative poet, he will pretend for your sake. Songs like these show a sensitive side that your partner will appreciate. “Another hollow face, Another dreamless state, Another whispered cry, A love that died, A hollow face.” Danzig doesn’t know a dead love because he is the physical embodiment of love. Us on the other hand, us mere mortals know exactly what heartbreak feels like. We never want to feel it again and this tune reminds us to cherish the one we have.

8. Danzig – Anything
Truth be told, Danzig doesn’t have to do anything for love, but here is clear and concise advise for us puny cretins to maintain a relationship. Offer the moon and the stars. As Danzig bellows out these promises, he is holding the key to happiness. “Anything you want, anything the world has to offer,I can give you if you just reach out to me, take my hand. Everything a kiss cannot bring I will give you, if you just say you will.” These are the words every lover is dying to hear, of course they would rather hear them from Danzig, so crank up this tune, rip of your shirt exposing your nest of man hair and lip sync while gyrating your hips and start planning the baby shower now.

9. Danzig – On a Wicked Night
“Hey my lady in black, Now I see you’re back, Haven’t seen you for a while, Kinda miss your deadly smile.” Danzig only kinda misses people. He is willing to have a quick fling with a long lost lover, but no strings attatched, ok? Danzig can’t be tamed. Relish in the idea that you too are an untamable beast, ready to pounce on your lover on this wicked night. Given your advances are welcomed, this song starts our slow, then speeds up for a uh…strong finish. If you get my drift.

10. The Misfits – Children in Heat
A pivotal reminder that we are truly just animals. We are animals that can not be controlled and our sexual nature can not be contained. Danzig knows this, Danzig lives it. Aren’t we all just “Children in Heat”?

If you have experienced the power of Danzig, you know that you will be making babies in no time if you follow this playlist. If you haven’t, well…enjoy your freedom now because babies are right around the corner for you and your lover.

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1 COMMENT

  • CJ Mellor on September 12, 2015

    would like to submit for the boards approval , song number 11 … dirty black summer… and at number 12 , I don’t mind the pain

    Reply

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