“Ak Ray” is a force to be reckoned with. Responsible for some of my most brutal and punishing hardcore out of NYC, he has created soundtracks full of relentless breakdowns, and bone crushing riffs. There is another side to Ray however, that seems to fit in seamlessly with his hardcore lifestyle, and that is being a strong father and great role model to his two kids. It’s great to see parents who are able to blaze their own path and turn preconceived notions upside down. Ray shows us that it doesn’t matter if you play some of the toughest music ever in a hardcore band, you still make time for your kids and show them how much you love them. That is what being tough is all about. Ray definitely is a tough guy, but also is an amazing dad to his kids and will stop at nothing to show them how much he cares for them.
1. Tell us about what you do, who you are, and how you balance your career with being a dad?
Hi I’m Ray, I’m a part time Rockstar / guitarist for the NYC punk- hardcore band SKARHEAD and full time kick ass dad to my little monsters! ( Veronica who is 5 and Damian who is 6 ) And trainer & lead hand at regular Warehouse job! Finding the balance to do it all is very easy for me… I do everything with my kids in mind so it easy,it all starts with them ..Always! They are my drive to do anything!
2. What does being a modern-day dad mean to you?
To me is about being the very best you can be for your lil ones at all times 24/7, I don’t care, as well as to out do what your parents did for you! I’m lucky enough to have both my parents alive, they are both still great parents to me, but I enjoy them telling me that I’m a good dad! That means the world to me! Because both my parents are awesome and worked their asses of to make sure we had all that we needed!! If I get their approval on how I treat their grandchildren, then I’m on the right path!
3.How did becoming a father change your life?
It changed me for the better… It just put me right in line! I’m not the same Ray! I used to always get into fights and enjoyed being a wild one out there! But after my son Damian was born I looked at the world differently, and myself! The one thing that some dads I feel drop the ball on is the one thing that I enjoy about being a dad.. That is that there is no grey area with your children…. It’s either you are a great dad or you are not! I love being the very best that I can be for them !
4. Whats the greatest part about being a dad?
I enjoy it all, I really do!! I enjoy being their ” hero ” haha my kids look at me like I know it all! I enjoy building memories with them that will stay with them even after I’m gone!!
5. Can you share a funny story about being a father?
A funny story about being a father to me is that no matter what I’ve done in my life ( touring with bands , writing music ect ) to them, non if that matters and no matter how “cool ” even kids in your neighborhood think you are….. You are just like YOUR dad.. Not cool and even embarrassing at times to them ! HA!
6. What advice can you give any new father out there?
Give them lots of love, you will see, it’s gonna feel like you don’t give enough… It’s awesome!!! Just give give and give the love to them & don’t be scared, it’s the BEST thing in your life, you’ll see!! DO IT RIGHT!! They deserve nothing less!!!
Thanks for taking the time to talk to us Ray. Your music is awesome and it was an honor and pleasure to be able to get to know you a little bit more!