Aaron Dalbec has been a major player in the punk/hardcore scene for quite some time. An integral part of, what I would consider one of the most important bands of my era, BANE, and also founding member of the hard hitting super group, Only Crime.
I was lucky enough to catch Aaron somewhere in between his busy schedule and he took the time to chat with us about being a dad for this most righteous “Rad Dad Feature.”
1. Tell us about what you do, who you are, and how you balance your career with being a dad?
I’m Aaron, I play guitar in Bane and Only Crime, but first and foremost, I am Scout’s dad! I do a pretty decent amount of touring, which as you might guess makes it hard to be away from Scout and my wife, Jennifer. The one advantage of that being my “job” is that when I’m not on tour, I’m able to spend most of my time with the family. I also do odd jobs when I am home, but all of it affords me the time to be really present with my wife and son.
2. What does being a modern-day dad mean to you?
I feel like there are so many stereotypes, and “roles” a dad is suppose to have according to history – meaning lots of people were brought up to believe that dads have to be the primary bread winner, not very involved in the day to day responsibilities of raising children, and to be the strong hand. I want to be whatever Scout needs and support him in becoming the individual he’s meant to be. I want to cry with him, run with him, go to see bands with him, and do whatever makes him happy, not what society thinks is what he-or I- should be doing. My wife and I are in this together, so I do what I need to do to make sure she feels supported in parenthood and vice versa.
3.How did becoming a father change your life?
That is almost a trick question. You can never really explain how much this changes your life. It really puts so much into perspective and everything you do, everything you work towards, your reason for living is now all for this tiny human. It’s so hard, that shift in responsibility, but it is also the most rewarding thing you can ever imagine. I mean playing music has been my whole life, but compared to being a dad….. It’s nothing. It’s the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
4. Whats the greatest part about being a dad?
The best part is probably when I look at Scout and he just smiles back at me. There’s just such pure, unconditional love in the way he looks at me. He knows that when he is with me or my wife, he is safe and loved beyond comparison and that’s testament to how we’re doing as his parents (so far hahaha). Hearing him say “Daddy” for the first time was up there for one of the greatest moments in my life. I can’t wait to show him all the wonders of the world and share with him what I know about life.
5. Can you share a funny story about being a father?
I wouldn’t even know which one to pick- Scout’s personality has really started to shine and he’s a riot. But you know, there is a lot of truth in saying we all turn into our parents- and that our children are just like us. I have found myself on more than one occasion lately having to use my “dad voice” with Scout and the dog about them rough housing, or trying to navigate my kid giving, essentially, my attitude right back to me.
6. What advice can you give any new father out there?
Don’t take anything for granted. Take every moment in-the good, the bad-it goes by SO fast. Make sure your partner is always comfortable with what is going on and you’re on the same page. And on a serious note, don’t be afraid to reach out if you or your partner is struggling in any way after the baby comes. It’s hard, exhausting work taking care of a newborn, it’s a huge life change/transition, and new parents need all the support they can get. Postpartum depression is a very real thing that can affect both partners. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
Thanks so much for taking part in this feature. It really means a lot to have you a part of our site. Keep up the great work and we wish you all the success in the world!
Follow Aaron on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/papidalby/