““I don’t want to fight with you.””

A friend of mine was going through some troubles. With a new baby in his already busy house and some hiccups at work, he and his wife were arguing, fighting, and clashing almost every day. They hardly recognized each other. They threatened divorce and would routinely meet in the garage so their yelling wouldn’t seem as volatile to the kids.

After one such fight he packed a few things, turned his phone off and left the house with every intention to not return. He had reached the boiling point, and was ready to give up.

He drove for hours he said, hours up the interstate and after he cooled off, he couldn’t stop thinking about his wife. The woman he fell in love with. The woman behind the arguments, the mother of his children, his best friend.

He turned his phone back on and called her. Before she said anything he blurted out “I don’t want to fight with you.” Surprised, all she could do was agree. Long story short, that was the turning point in their marriage. They made a commitment that they intended to keep for themselves, their kids and for the sake of their family.

Months of arguing and bickering ended by his simple statement; “I don’t want to fight with you.” He told me he still says it when things start working their way back towards an argument in the old familiar patterns. He took his ego out of the equation and figured out he could have everything he wanted, his wife and his family without the arguing by making this his mantra when things started to boil over. “I don’t want to fight with you.” Sometimes he did want to fight, he would get mad or frustrated; but he got so used to saying that statement that he started to believe it.

He literally changed his perspective, his perception, his reality.

I wanted to share it mainly because it was a testament that people can change if they want to, that they could work things out, that sometimes there’s a bigger picture, that they could fall back in love and for a couple that I surely thought was destined to fail after what I had heard, they met in the middle…at the breaking point they worked it out, and turned a drama back into a love story.




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