“It takes one to know one” is a pretty popular defense for school age children. But it’s funny how a simple statement like that can ring so true.
As a child I remember using this defense when other kids would call me weird. As an adult, when looking at the statement it has a much different meaning. Occasionally when having conversations with my child I can notice myself being quite judgmental. Whether I am scolding her for a specific behavior, or even in Conversation when talking about others, in retrospect I went to think about what I may be teaching her.
When we make judgments about others many times we are focusing on the aspects of that person that we dislike the most about ourselves. When you’re happy and comfortable with your own self there really is no need to make judgments about others. It’s easy to come to terms with the fact that we all are on our own journey and that others have to navigate their own path.
When we are unhappy with their own situation in life in some ways it can ease our pain to point out the faults in others. When we are pointing out those faults perhaps we are focusing on not so much the person, but the behavior that we fear we might see when we look in the mirror.
When making judgments about others we are sharing this trait with our children. If we are talking about others we are teaching them to judge and intern learn to be unhappy with themselves. When we make judgments about their own behavior we teach them to lose confidence in their own decision-making and be unsure of themselves. Perhaps before we make a judgment it is important to remember that it might really take one to know one, and instead of discouraging someone it might be in our best interest to bring them up. This way we are not only teaching our children to uplift others, but we slowly can learn to tackle the things about our own selves that we might not be happy with and improve.
If the goal of being a positive parent is to constantly improve, and if it really does “take one to know one”, then let’s be as positive as possible so that each person who knows us will be one as well.